I found these rather humorus.

Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be to busy to call you.

"BUSY" is another word for "asshole." "Asshole is another word for the guy your dating!

There is NO excuse for cheating. Let me say it again. There is no excuse for cheating. Now you say it. There is no excuse for cheating.

Break up sex still means your broken up.

Don't ask yourself what you did wrong or how you could have done it differently. Don't waste your valuable heart and mind trying to figure out why he did what he did. Or thinking back on all the things he said, and wondering what was the truth and what was the lie. The only thing you need to know is that it's really good news: He's gone.

There's nothing worse, in dating terms, nothing worse, than that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when it looks like the guy you were seeing or getting to know has decided to bail on you instead of talking to you about it. Nothing worse.

If the guy you're dating doesn't seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start 'figuring him out,' please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is.

I know it's nice to have companionship and wake up with somebody that you really like, but that's what pets are for. Pets are God's way of saying, 'Don't lower the bar because you're lonely.

Bad boys are actually bad.

Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.

breakups are suppposed to be just that. Breaks. Hard, clean breaks, No talking, no seeing, no touching…. Keep your hands to yourself. The relationship is over.

He's gone. Poof. Vanished into thin air. Well, there's no mixed message here. He's made it clear that he's so not into you that he couldn't even bother to leave you a Post-it.