Save.

Tuesday I went to see UP, the new Disney-Pixar movie.
It's phenomenal, please do go see it.
Anyway, the entire movie is revolved around travel, and adventure. This couple who loves each other both want to go see the world and so when they get married they start saving coins and pennies in a jar and every so often the jar would get full, but their car would break down so they had to use the money to fix it and start over. Or someone would get sick and they had to use the money for doctors bill.

It hit my heart so hard because I feel like that is the story of my life. I want to go travel document the world, do missions but somehow money always gets in the way and as soon as I get a break from life something happens and I have to use the money that was going to go towards traveling. Its exhausting, really.

"You can do whatever you want", "Let your dreams take you where ever"
I'm trying to not sound pessimistic as much as I can, but those statements aren't even remotely true. You can dream all you want, you can fight for something and still not get it. And maybe it fell in to the lap of the person right next to you. Who knows.
It's just the realization that I'm not in control, therefor I can't MAKE things happen, if that's not the way its meant to be.