Save.

Tuesday I went to see UP, the new Disney-Pixar movie.
It's phenomenal, please do go see it.
Anyway, the entire movie is revolved around travel, and adventure. This couple who loves each other both want to go see the world and so when they get married they start saving coins and pennies in a jar and every so often the jar would get full, but their car would break down so they had to use the money to fix it and start over. Or someone would get sick and they had to use the money for doctors bill.

It hit my heart so hard because I feel like that is the story of my life. I want to go travel document the world, do missions but somehow money always gets in the way and as soon as I get a break from life something happens and I have to use the money that was going to go towards traveling. Its exhausting, really.

"You can do whatever you want", "Let your dreams take you where ever"
I'm trying to not sound pessimistic as much as I can, but those statements aren't even remotely true. You can dream all you want, you can fight for something and still not get it. And maybe it fell in to the lap of the person right next to you. Who knows.
It's just the realization that I'm not in control, therefor I can't MAKE things happen, if that's not the way its meant to be.

Identity Crisis.

Am I now seeking human approval, or God's approval?
Or am I trying to please people?
If I were still pleasing people,
I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

Your Heart's A Mess

Pick apart
The pieces of your heart
And let me peer inside
Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine

You have lost
Too much love
To fear, doubt and distrust
(It's not enough)
You just threw away the key
To your heart

You don't get burned
('Cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier
(Easier on you)
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see

Love ain't fair
So there you are
My love

Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you, you can't live like this

Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you, you can't live like this

Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you, you can't live like this

Love ain't safe
You won't get hurt if you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don't wanna waste my love

Donezo.

I try my hardest on a daily basis.
The first few weeks it was hard for me to get out of bed.
The first few months it was hard to go a couple hours without thinking of you.
And now its over. finally.

3 Hours.

at the